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#WFH: Are You a Superhuman?

Technologies can give you the illusion that you are superhuman. There are only 24 hours in a day and you are only one human being. You have limits in terms of your values, time and energy and your desire and ability to sacrifice. These are important issues to understand.

Boundaries are always more difficult to understand when they involve a public stage and private information. Whether it is emails at work or posting on a social website, making responsible choices involves looking at the future of a relationship. What happens if I get fired? Leave for another job? Decide to end this relationship? Start a new one with another person?

Relationship boundaries are probably the most difficult to master from many reasons. They may involve a boss who is challenging, a passive spouse, difficult parents or an unruly child. It helps to identify the issues and situations, and make a plan. Put some thought into what really works for you. Do not expect others to know what you need in relationship boundaries. They are not fortune-tellers and they are not mind readers. Neither are you. You can only identify your side of the boundary.

Making responsible choices requires that you hold up your end. When you set boundaries, stick with them and follow through. If you make commitments in an indulgent moment when your time will not really allow it, you may have to neglect a more important priority. Making responsible choices is not just about taking a specific action or making a particular decision. It is about being responsible to you, being efficient in your choices, connections and self-management.

Sometimes we do not see boundary issues as what they really are because we are trying to people-please, or we want to be wanted. If you take on a problem that belongs to someone else, you have made their problems more important than your own priorities. That will get you into trouble. If someone is making decisions for you, has expectations you do not agree with, takes your stuff, demands your time or is constantly complaining, it is time to look at yourself. This is probably a boundary issue.

Your sense of self and social identity can make it difficult to say “no” to people. If you feel inferior or are worried about approval, fear consequences and feel manipulated, you might want to re-evaluate your choices. Who are you making more important than you? There are old sayings that remain popular for a reason: “Good fences make good neighbors” and “Do not mix business with pleasure” have some truth to them. Boundaries and responsible choices help you keep your limits in check. Not all relationships have the same impact on you. Not all significant others ave the same significance. The more significant they are to you, the more they can influence your self-concepts.

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